


Our name's are up in lights like diamonds in the sky.

by thisoldtown



Series: Baby, we can see the scars from here [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Famous Harry, Famous Niall, Husbands, M/M, Married Couple, Miss comunication, Rocky patch, So what, True Love, spaces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 06:50:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3640761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisoldtown/pseuds/thisoldtown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The star crossed power couple have apparently hit rocky shores according to Niall Horan's 'officially' released new track "So What". It mentions the obvious emotional spilt between him and his husband Mr Harry Styles. Though we have to wonder if this song is his own retaliation to his husband’s relatively new song "Spaces". The Spaces lyrics state  things like 'Who’s gonna be the first one to start the fight?' and 'Who’s gonna be the first one to fall asleep at night?' proving what Horan says when he mentions "I've lost my husband, I don't know where he went". This speculates an emotional divide between the two as they are still a married couple. But the question is... Are they still a happy one?</p><p>* Or an AU where separately famous Niall and Harry hit a rocky patch within there marriage and it can't be avoided any longer. Inspired by 'So What' by P!nk and 'Spaces' by One Direction *</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our name's are up in lights like diamonds in the sky.

**Our name's up in lights like diamonds in the sky.**

Harry's POV:

_* So, so what? I'm still a rock star, I got my rock moves and I don't need you and guess what? I'm having more fun and now that we're done. I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a tool. So, so what? I am a rock star. I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight *_

_"BREAKING NEWS -The star crossed power couple have apparently hit rocky shores according to Niall Horan's 'officially' new released track "So What". It mentions the obvious emotional spilt between him and his husband Mr Harry Styles. Though we have to wonder if this song is his own retaliation to his husband’s relatively new song "Spaces". The ‘Spaces’ lyrics state certain effects such as 'Who’s gonna be the first one to start the fight?' and 'Who’s gonna be the first one to fall asleep at night?' proving what Horan says when he mentions "I've lost my husband, I don't know where he went". This speculates an emotional divide between the two as they are still a married couple. But the question is... Are they still a happy one?? Next we go straight to Jill whom is in the Alps at the tragic scene of the most recent plane crash-"_

The TV blacks out with a zap from the remote clutched within my white knuckled hand. Clasped tightly within my grip, loosing blood flow. My head filled with anger and confusion. Leaving me flustered and a little petrified because are they fucking kidding me? Did Niall really do this? Is this the best thing the BBC could broadcast? This is what they class as news knower days? ‘News’ about my about my private life? On what bloody planet is that 'BREAKING NEWS?’ prying into somebody’s private problems. If you could even call them 'problems'.

Sure there’s been a divide recently. I wouldn’t really know what to call it, but I guess we don’t embrace each other before going to bed anymore, let alone actually _in_ bed. I would come home too late or just simply jump into bed without really acknowledging my husband beside my just so I could relive myself from my hectic day. Once or twice I’ve probably kissed Niall on the cheek before sleep, though usually he would just turn on his side, whilst I simply would just fall asleep immediately. Not to mention the fact that sex has been off the cards for weeks, and I mean _weeks_. It’s like starving a lion from his fresh prey, though I’m not sure whose fault that is. I’m usually too tired or he simply won’t allow me to touch him. So yeah, I guess there’s a divide, but I just assumed it was normal, didn’t really second guess it, assuming that we’d get past it, constantly convincing myself it meant nothing, that Niall could care less. I guess I was wrong…

He always used to tell me when he wrote a song and especially before he released one. Preferably a sneak preview... in the bedroom. But nothing, not one word and it ends up shaming our marriage – being blown up by the media as some hatful relationship. How could he do this to me? How could he write a song about not needing me anymore? He’s just being an attention seeking bastard. I can practically feel the adrenaline pumping within my veins, deep within my arteries. My whole body seething with too many emotions. Anger, loneliness and most of all sadness…

I'm losing him... I'm losing my husband, without ever really noticing…

I storm up the stairs like a tornado, wrecking everything within its wake. The upstairs hall is filled with all the memories of our life together. The day we met at the 2012 Brit Awards. The day of the 2013 AMA's - our first award show commemorating our relationship. Walking down the red carpet with the man I love with all my heart, presented upon my arm felt like having the most prized possession out on display. He's all I’ll ever have and need. Well at least I used to think that.

My love for him is still unwavering and combusting like a gigantic supernova exploding into outer space. I walk past another photograph which forms a ghost of a smile upon my lips - the day we first said I love you in Hyde Park. But best of all, the photo of our wedding day. The best day of my life. Better than the day I made it as a professional artist. Better than the day I met him. So, so much better than any award I have received. And it’s crumbling down around me. It’s like these big walls have been built over time, without either of us ever really knowing about it. I was destroying our relationship without knowing and he was documenting it all. Slowly chipping away at the memories we've made and the secrets we've kept. Among the flashing lights we took a wrong turn and we fell down the rabbit hole. We found wonderland and we both got lost in it. Life was never worse but never better, in wonderland.

"H-harry?" A weak squeak of his once powerful voice erupts my reminiscent thoughts. It feels as though forever has passed since hearing his slick voice. I spin around to face him with a billion different lasers shooting out of my eyeballs. "How the fuck could do this to me? To us?" I cry desperately

"Harry I-" He tries but I’m not having any of it.

"Harry what? You basically told the world you were better off without me and you'd always be a rock star, with or without me. You always used to tell me everything. If something was bothering you. If it was someone or if it was me. You would tell me you wrote a song and the reason behind the aforementioned song. But I didn't even get a heads up this time. No 'hey babe, I'm going to tell the whole bleeding world about the state of our marriage!’ or how you’re oh so better off without me?" I cry. I can't hold it in anymore. The awful powerful flood of emotions fills the empty void in my chest. My blood was boiling. How could he do this?

“Harry, I just wrote what I was feeling, I was trying to let the music fill the gaping wound in my chest because deep down you didn’t care anymore” he mumbles it quietly, with his eyes down-casted towards the floor. It’s barely loud enough to hear. But I know him, I know how to understand his sheepish ways, and deep down I know he’s right.

“I didn’t care? Of course I bloody cared! You never _told_ me. I’m not a bloody mind reader Niall, You simply can’t expect me to know when something’s wrong. It’s called communication. A two way street, but nope, you told the world before you know your god damn husband!” His words are like acid, yet they mean everything. But I just keep pushing down the guilt obstructing my emotions, passing the blame onto the holder of the eternal flame.

"You know what? Fuck you! This isn't all my fault. You’re the one who wrote about our marriage falling apart. Talking about which one of us would leave first. That the ‘spaces’ between us were too deep to fix, that we would never ever return to the people we used to be. Do you know how horrid I felt? Knowing that my husband. The so called love of my life wrote a song about the foundations of our life together, falling apart. Yet you never thought to tell me first? To discuss any of it with me? I was just confirming what you've already said, because guess what? Somewhere along the line I _did_ lose my husband. I'm staring at this man in front of me and I know he's not the man I married. The man I am so deeply in love with. Whom I will always be in love with. But you? You’re not him. You’re standing in front of me, but you’re not the same guy and I can't find him because you fucking changed and now you have the fucking _audacity_ to blame me? Where are all the lost kiss’ Harry? The hugs? The Love? The happiness? So yeah I did lose my husband and I don't see him doing a damn thing about it! You’re not _my_ Harry anymore and you are certainly _not_ my Husband. The so called _‘LOVE’_ of my life! So Fuck. You."

He's crying. My beautiful baby. His tranquil cerulean blue eyes are clouded with love, lose and most of all pain. Pain that I have caused, yet didn’t know about. The pain I caused subconsciously, overlooking the absent touches, the absent affection. So much god damn pain fills those beautiful eyes, the ones that once showed me all of his affections, his happiness, his love. He was the light of my life and I squished it like a bug. Like the prick I am.

I can't see the happiness that once lied there. I broke him and I never even realised it. He never spoke about it, I never spoke about it. So in the end we jumped from a moving train and one of us was left behind.

"Niall I-" I think I’ve fucked up…

"Don't! Don't you dare fucking speak to me." He screams

"Don't do this! You’re just as to blame as I am!" massively fucked up.

His head lifts to mine. His red rimmed eyes meet my distracted, stubborn ones and I have to look away. Look away from the all the pain that pools there. "Fuck. You." And with those words he grabs his coat with a dry sob and leaves the room. Just in time for me to see another fresh set of tears roll down his perfectly blemish free cheeks. I did that. I swore to him I would be there through thickness and in thin. In sickness and in health, till death do us part. I promised myself that after the first time I ever saw him cry, let alone married him. When he wept in my arms for the very first time, devastated because the hateful comments had gotten too much to handle. I promised myself and him that I would never, ever be the reason behind those broken-hearted sobs. And now I am. I betrayed myself as well as my love. I have to fix this, and with that I run after him with all the love and pain I can muster.

Niall's POV:

I don't know where I'm going or where I'm coming from. It was all too much. It was all a mess. A horrible, disgusting mess. The tears are over powering. Racking my body, over and over again. I just keep walking. Walking and walking until I reach an end point. Whether it be on an emotional level or a physical level. A beautiful, desperate decision or finally reaching the end of the world. With no further land to walk upon. Finally reaching the deep blue sea. The same colour sea green that belong to my one true love. Not the man who no longer recognises me.

London’s busy. Always busy, the crowds are noticing my upmost apparent posture. The temperature is stifling. The crowds are deafening. It's all too much.

The lights are so blinding. London life never stops no matter if I’ve stopped moving. Stood still on the empty pavement – lonely and all alone.

The crowds have surround me like moths to an open flame. They think they know me, but they don’t know the real me. They know the man who wrote a jealous song about his so called husband. However they don’t know the boy whose heart has been shattered like broken glass, and the boy he loves doesn’t know how to fix it. I guess I’ve always been a little broken. I little insecure. I little scared.

The fires so thick now that I can barely breathe. Screaming, crying perfect storms. I've stopped now that the tables have all turned so that I’m left alone, to carry my own problems and my own fear. It's overpowering, so emotional, and so physical.

My feet can no longer carry my body anymore, leaving me to fall to the ground. My knees brushing the cold, wet concrete floor. My eyes flooded with beautifully tragic teardrops...

I’m feel as though I am falling down, with no one to help me back up. No one to keep me grounded. The paparazzi's probing questions make me cry harder. It’s becoming harder and harder to breathe evenly. The questions are just too personal, to upsetting to even consider. Way, way too real.

_'Niall is your marriage officially over?'_

_'Has Mr Styles finally gone and fucked off?'_

_'Has he chucked you out?'_

_‘Did Styles finally realise he made a mammoth worthy mistake?’_

_'Horan! Horan! Over here - show your crying face towards the pretty camera'_

My voice is hoarse even to my own ears. Utterly unrecognisable. "Please, stop!! Please” I breathe in a harsh unwanted breath. When did they get so bloody close? There everywhere. Above me, surrounding me, touching me. Never wavering. Their persistent pleas for information, for pictures of a famous, devastated boy. “I- I can’t” the air is too thin. The colours ae swirling now. Mixing together to form an unwanted darkness.

“HEY! Get the fuck off him! Move out of my way… I said fucking move! Can’t you see he can’t breathe you persistent little shits?” that voice. I know that voice. Suddenly strong, loving arms encircle my waist. Familiar arms, with a transcendently charming voice. “Ni… baby... Shhh. I’m here! Shh, it’s okay, shhh” I fall into the arms of the man I love and sob into his shoulder relentlessly. The arms that are so comforting, so normal it makes me cry harder. We haven’t be like this in what feels like forever.

“H-Harry?” I whimper out, making his grip on me tighten and his beautiful hands caress my back in an all loving gesture. Making me forget about the passing paparazzi.

“Yeah baby, it’s me. I promise you it’s going to be okay. I’m going to fix this baby. I promise you. I am so fucking sorry. I love you. I love you. I love you. Just remember I love you. However hard it gets remember I love you! So much, I’m so sorry baby” the love laced with his caressing hands and his poetic words, make me forget the harsh words and the ever so lonely nights. They make me remember the love that consumes my every move. Hitting me full force, like a tremendous gust of wind, making me fall even more in love with his chiselled face and Cheshire cat smile.

We hit a rocky patch, sure. Though doesn’t everyone? The difference in our marriage is that it’s viewed, harassed and judged by the whole world. And sure it gets hard, but I’ll always fall back into his arms, every time. So I guess I reached my decision and I chose the rocky path filled with love and hard work. After all what’s love without a little effort.

“I love you too. I’m so sorry. I love you! Don’t leave me Harry, please!”

“Never! Never baby, I’m going to stay right here next to you until the end of time. It will be okay!”

I don’t know how we’re going to resurface from this, but knowing we will makes the aforementioned hard work worth it. Love’s hard when you’re in the spotlight 24/7. We’ve just got to learn how to keep our cool exteriors even if we’re dying inside.

He’s the only man I love and I guess I’ll have to deal with the camera flashes and the blinding lights, with our names constantly up in lights like diamonds in the sky.

**Author's Note:**

> Just wanted to say thanks for reading this. It means a lot to me. It's my first fanfic on this site but not overall. I hope you liked it and that it didn't totally suck. I'm sorry if I overlooked any mistakes and for all the Taylor Swift references :)


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